PALS

The Founder's Story

This is me and Nikolas. I never thought it would be possible to love a little bundle this much. He is a wonderful blessing for me and my husband.

My decision to try again was my desire to have a child. First, I had to have peace with letting go of Daniel and also peace that I became a mom in March of 1998. Just because I never heard him cry or say "mommy" didn't mean that I wasn't proud of him. His life changed me forever.

We do not replace the child or children- but if that the desire to have another child is strong....YOU CAN DO IT!

My doctor told me in the hospital that I didn't have to do this again if I didn't want to. I remember being a little mad at that remark. But looking back I realize she meant-you dont have to replace this baby, but if you want another one -then go ahead, YOU CAN DO IT!

The next pregnancy I lost due to miscarriage but then again I got pregant with Nikolas.

To see that pink line again....ut oh, here we go.....I told my husband but I dont we really got to excited at that point. I was still wondering if I was ready.

Ok, first month-think positive....go about life as normal. Stay healthy(mental and physical), fit and don't be afraid to ask questions!

2nd and 3rd month-ok we have heart beat...don't go away..please You know there are a lot of people praying for you!

4th month..ok so I didn;t have to go the doctor today but hey, I feel better now. Heart beat is strong and you are doing fine. Keep busy. I tried not to think to much about the pregnancy.....didn;t think to much about names or the room, just coasting

5th and 6th month....getting anxious...lots of questions to the doc...like, can I have a c-section?! Friends and lots of support are really important now. Deep breaths, baby is fine! The chance of a 2nd fetal demise is really low..not saying it doesn;t happen, but it is extremely rare. Remain positive and peaceful. Pray.

7th month....ok baby...stay with me. We can do this.

8th month-very tricky for me. I was at the doctor a lot. This was just getting to close to the due date. I was very nervous...I don't recommend this! I started having contractions very early. I think I brought them on myself! Still not thinking names, or anything like that. Just trying to get there! Support is crucial-from anyone!! oooh, how about someone asking.."Is this your first?" You know how people like to ask that question. Well, I just said no, that's the truth isn;t it? ANXIOUS is not the word now...I am so ready for this baby...also feel like I have been pregnant for 3 yrs straight..not to much time in between.

9th month-ok here we go...I admit I pushed and pushed and pushed the doctors to induce me early! Yes, I did get my way, finally! This month was also tricky..lots of contractions and I found out Nikolas had a liver cyst. So at 37 wks (much better than the 41 1/2 wks that I went to with Daniel) I delivered Nikolas! When I heard him cry I could not believe it...I DID IT ! My husband went home and put the room together...what a wonderful day.

There are so many happy stories of subsequent pregnancies after loss...its always heartwarming. Please remember to think positive and that your child is right there with you. If you have a story of a subsequent pregnacy please email us at cathy@rainbowmaker.org